Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Mercy Help Needed

Well Friends... I need mercy. Not for myself, right now (though I'm sure I do). I need it to give away. I've spent 3 days painting and preparing a pretty yellow room in a friend's house, and today I'm moving my stuff in. On Saturday I moved my dressers in. And...just got a call from the new house. The day after I moved those dressers, a cockroach appeared in the kitchen. The house has never seen a cockroach in the last 2 years! I'm all discombobulated and not sure what to do. It's going to be a major effort to try to make sure any more don't move over with me...lots of time and money too, as I'm heading soon to the store to get traps, bay leaves, anything that will help prevent them.

But my heart, my heart is the problem right now. I asked the Lord really quick if He had something to say about it before I started my day. Yep. Right to the point. Matt 9:12-13. A sermon I've heard 2 times in the last two weeks. He loves mercy. He desires mercy.

NOT for those roaches--oh no. I'm sure David was partially referring to them when in Psalm 59:5 he asked the Lord, "Do not be merciful to any wicked transgressors." No, the mercy I need is to lavish out on the owners of the house I've been in for the last 6 months. My heart is racing around, getting all mad that they didn't tell me there were cockroaches and floods before I moved in. That they never called in an exterminator. That they're renting out a room in an unfinished basement for the price everyone else is renting out 1st floor bedrooms for. That I smelled musty for the last 6 months and none of my friends told me because they didn't want me to feel badly. Argh. Now I want to say all those things and more to my landlords (who are EXTREMELY sweet people).

So, I ask the Lord, and what does he say? "I love mercy." "I desire mercy." He doesn't want me to just keep my mouth shut out of obedience to kindness, nor out of the exercise of taming the tongue--both of which would definitely fall into the acceptable sacrifice category. Denying my soul, right? Nope--He desires something better and deeper, both for me and those I'm temporarily mad at. My heart is to be changed in this; changed so that it voluntarily (not sacrificially) pours out mercy on my landlords and does not demand an accounting, nor vent frustration, nor harp on the extra hours of effort and waste of money this is costing me. Oh God--give me mercy to give away! Forgive my anger!

Any friend who happens to read this today or tomorrow is happily welcomed to pray that He would pour out the mercy, so that I can pour it out too!

Thanks for commiserating :)


Sars said...

What a great insight! I often (but not often enough) make the acceptable sacrifice, but almost always stop just short of allowing my attitude to be transformed, of letting the slate be wiped clean. I am very encouraged by your thoughts, but am kind of hoping I won't have an opportunity to practice them anytime soon.

p.s. Found your blog on google after reading your article in Radiant--a great piece.

p.p.s. You didn't go to Wheaton College, did you?

Amy Rachel Peterson said...

Sars, thanks for your comment--very encouraging :) It may disturb (or excite) you to know that you probably have opportunities every day to practice this sort of heart transformation...they're just not always obvious!

I did go to Wheaton College ('92-'96). Did you?

Sars said...

Yeah, I went to Wheaton '95-'99. I'm totally gonna look you up in my freshman yearbook. One of my blogs (apartment five b) is actually written by me and my buddies from Wheaton. In fact, I got my subscription to Radiant from my friend Jo. (I love it.) Congrats on writing a book!! Where's it being sold? I'd love to check it out. Although I'm a little scared to read it - - afraid of what it might mean for my very comfortable life.

Sars said...

Ok, I swear I'm not stalking you! I forgot to ask if it would be ok to link you to our blog, and if so, which site do you want linked, this one or the one with your name (or both)? I know my friends would get a kick out of having another Wheatie (and an author to boot) on there.

Oh, and my real name is Sarah.

Amy Rachel Peterson said...

Sars (Sarah)! Ok, I'm so sorry for the huge delay in answering your posts. Have you found me in your yearbook yet? Do feel free to link my website or blog to your blog. I've glanced at the Apartment 5B blog and had some fun reading :)

Perpetua is sold online at places like Amazon and Christianbooks.com. Local Christian bookstores may carry it too, but the safest (and cheapest) bet is to get it online. I think you'll enjoy it--let me know if you do!