Jul 14, 2005

"There I shall talk with you..."

Hello dear family & friends!

Though I've been called a writer there are times I sit down to share through that medium and know that only the smallest portion of all my thoughts will make it onto the page. This may be one of those.

I am excited, deeply. And rejoicing, and glad, and aware of all I am leaving behind and some of what I am walking toward. If I've talked with you recently you already know my plans to leave Chicago and embark on a journey with an unknown end. My purpose is not to write, though I will write. Nor is it to travel, though I will certainly be racking up the miles on my faithful white car. As I've talked with many of you I've searched for the right words to describe my reason for leaving behind a home and friends, a job and all the "security" that provides. I'm still looking for those words and you're probably still wondering what exactly Amy is doing, and why! A scripture was given to me during the spring months I spent praying about this new season. It ends "Arise, go out into the plain, and there I shall talk with you." That's the closest I can get, and they aren't even my words. (They're God's: Ezekiel 3:22) In the simplest terms, I want Him to talk with me. Not to me, but with me. Face to face, friend to friend, lover to loved. I don't have to leave Chicago to do that, but He's told me to leave and so I will. I don't have to resign from Moody Publishers to do that, but He's told me to resign and so I will. I don't even have to be an incomeless nomad to do that, but...even Jesus for a time had no place to lay his head, so I am not afraid to have no place to lay mine. (I actually have amazing family who will give me places to lay it, and I'm planning to take my favorite feather pillow along on the journey, so don't let your pity run too quick :)

Over the past few years my heart has reached a state of restlessness and my hands boredom. Both need refreshing; both need to pursue what I have passion toward. I only know that it is God. Somehow, wrapped up in Him are all true things - the very path of life. It is His voice that strips the forests bare. It is His voice that rejoices the heart. I've decided that a person could be "doing" the very thing they love - writing for instance - and yet feel life to be useless and vain if they don't have the fellowship of God. (Oh, how the thought of the "400 years of silence" the Israelites endured shakes my soul. May it never be so among us!) He has always been faithful to me - never silent. I am ready to walk with Him on paths I've previously just stood on, ready to run with Him on paths we have simply been walking together, and ready to dance with Him in the places we have run before.

And so for me, now, talking with God means obeying His call to get up, leave where I've been, and go out into the plain. I'm so thankful for all of you, my friends, who've loved me freely and with open hands, and who know the voice of God. I'll keep you updated on my little journey through these blog posts. And I invite other readers-my acquaintances, co-laborers, and guests-to come along as you will. Join me as I walk (stumble, perhaps) on journeys into the depth of God and the breadth of His people.

With an eager joy, and expecting that there He shall talk with me,